I was born in a log cabin in Nebraska in the 1850’s.  That was back when we had to walk to school in the snow all year, and it was all uphill, both ways.  I had only one pair of shoes that I had to share with my dog Rico.  I have a pet cactus named Jethro.  One time, I was playing charades and I had to be a mime with his leg on fire.  A guy once told me that an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. I don’t like Ritz crackers.  Chocolate makes me hiccup.  I want to go back in time and give John Lennon a Kevlar vest.